Bell/Rogers MLSE Presser: The "Translated" Version

So it’s official: Bell and Rogers will take over as owners of MLSE. With the help of Waking the Red’s trusty MLSE-ese Translate-o-tron 7000 (patent pending), we bring you the proceedings, translated for your convenience....

(All times MST)

7:32 - Still awaiting the start…media still filing in.

7:37 - Oop, here we go, here we go, here we gooooo…

7:38 - Order of speaking: OTPP, Bell head, Rogers head, then Tanenbaum.

One question + one followup allowed.

7:40 - OTPP rep: "Mixed emotion" from the group, but they are transferring to a "solid" foundation…it’s been great, big golden goose for us. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now is the "right time" to leave, thank you Larry for your contribution...

7:43 - Why are we selling (Even though we said we weren’t)? Rogers and Bell surprised us with a supertanker load of cash.

We own this thing until next summer, but then…here you go Rogers and Bell!

7:47 - Bell CEO George Cope: Exciting for us! Wow! I can’t believe we bought this thing…hey, be happy that Teachers sold to a Canadian company, and not to some Yank consortium!

We’re trying to get more content for TSN, CTV, etc. which we bought. Yeah, it’s strange that we’re working with Rogers on this one…but yeah, you can’t miss our teams now!

7:48 - Larry will stay as chairman…and yeah, he got this thing done, apparently.

7:52 - Rogers CEO Nadir Mohamed: Whoo! We got the golden goose! This is a "Canadian treasure" (The Raptors are a "world class brand", apparently), and we love sports at Rogers.

We want to even outplay TSN on sports…we’re on five mediums first, so suck it George! We got a magazine, radio stations, Sportsnet…top that!

7:52 - Buying MLSE means we can make this stuff available on our channels…hahaha, you’ve got no choice but to follow us now!

7:54 - It’s all about "passion", and Toronto deserves nothing less…

(So far, absolutely no mention of the Marlies…wow. And first major mention of TFC from Nadir.)

7:56 - Larry: MLSE is the best, thank you Teachers for your money…oh yeah, and I’m getting a bigger share in this thingie…5 more percent! Whoopie!

7:57 - Last line: "Here’s to winning, guys."

8:03 - Q&A period begins...

CTV: How will things change?

George: Refers to Olympics for the second time.

Nadir: Cracks on Bell’s slow network, devices will get live content…real time fan experience, so exciting!

BNN: Are you going to join together to buy out CBC’s NHL package?

Nadir: I don’t know yet…

CBC: How do you reconcile, Rogers and Bell?

Nadir: We’ve worked together on the Olympics, so there! Hahaha!

George: We’ll figure out that later.

Toronto Sun: MLSE is rich, but how can you deliver wins?

George: We win if the teams win, we know how to win…and we’re gunna do it.

8:11 -

Torstar: People say you should be using it on your companies to improve your shitty services, why buy MLSE instead?

Nadir: It’s all about content, content, content! We’re trying to make sure that content and media gathering is under one roof.

George: More money for investors! This will make money to improve networks.

Globe: Hey OTPP, why’d you change your mind?

George: Time, work, and Larry solved it. Did I mention we’re Canadian?

Nadir: Thanks Larry, we love you!

Larry: Meh, it was a snap.

WSJ: Impact on BCE’s investments on the Canadiens, will Jays be folded into MLSE?

Nadir: We love the Jays, but no, we’re not gonna roll ‘em together. Content!

George: We’re going to fight tooth and nail to keep it.

Raptors TV: What does this mean for the sports fan? (Dude, not paying attention much?)

Larry: We’re gunning for those trophies! Yes, even the MLS Cup.

George: Basketball! I luvs it. Canada will do well in Bball with us owning the Raptors!

CBC: How will you work together?

George: We’ll make sure the business wins. Larry will lead this so if something goes to s*it it’ll all be his fault!

Nadir: Yeah, Larry wants to win.

8:14 -

Global: Who made the first move? (Ooh, Shaw is mad now…)

George: We called each other…Nadir will say the same.

Global: What happened during that first call?

Nadir: Content! Access to content! Focus on content! Did I mention content?

Bloomberg: Can we call you a monopoly now?

George: We’re still competing.

8:20 -

Bloomberg: It still barks like a monopoly, dude.

Nadir: It’s all for the consumer. More choice here! If you don’t like our content, check Bell’s. And vice versa. We’re not getting all the games.

Bloomberg: How much did you get, Teachers?

Jane: $1.32 billion.

Newstalk 1010: Will there be a situation like YES?

Nadir: Duh Mike Toth, no!

Newstalk 1010: Who’s losing their jobs?

George: Kypreos and Mackenzie are still going to be outscoop each other…

???: What is the stumbling block? Did you bid before OTPP said they wouldn’t sell?

Nadir: Nope, we’re not gonna say it.

8:24 -

TSN: How are you going to share the games?

George: We’ve got something.

Torstar: The Jays suck because you haven’t invested in it. Why should we expect you to spend more on TFC/Leafs/Raptors?

Nadir: We love the Jays…we’re on the rise, so you are wrong. Larry will drive us to victory…yep, all Larry.

George: If the team wins, we get best content.

Globe: Did the Rogers family do anything here?

Nadir: Happy days!

Canadian Press: How is this good for fans? (FFS…facepalm)

Nadir: CONTENT!!!!!!!

8:30 -

??? Post: How did you decide who owns how much?

George: We split half of 75%, but our pension plan owns about 40% of our share.

Raptors TV: Larry, did you ever considered vetoing this?

Larry: I sorta thought about it, but damn they’re loaded. So nope!