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Toronto FC all time worst XI revealed.

It's okay Mista.  You've got plenty of $100 bills to wipe away your tears.
It's okay Mista. You've got plenty of $100 bills to wipe away your tears.

Here you are, my opinion of the worst players out of the over 100 players that have graced the BMO Field turf over the fist 5 bumbling years. There's plenty of subjective distaste for talented but underperforming stars on display here, so there's probably a few decent hard working but essentially poor players who maybe deserve to play here, and I also didn't include those such as Kyle Davies or Lesley Fellinga who never really had the chance to make much of an impression.

This is just one man's in-expert opinion, so feel free to add your own versions or just argue against my choices in the comments section.

G- Greg Sutton. There's no obvious candidates here. 2007 was a particularly unpleasant revolving door to have to come through, but Sam Reynolds went unbeaten in 2 starts, Srdjan Djekanovic had a very respectable record, David Monsalve only played in one game, which would be very harsh to judge him on, and poor Kenny Stamatopoulos played the vast majority of our big mid season goal drought, which must have been tough. Things were a bit more reliable in later seasons, with Brian Edwards and Milos Kocic proving fairly able backups and Jon Conway's magnificent red card and unrepentant exit from the pitch in that game against Columbus give him immunity in my eyes. That leaves us with Greg Sutton and Stefan Frei who really had the time to show off their skills, and though I feel a bit bad about this, it's Sutton who gets the nod here.

RB - Adam Braz. In between Marvell Wynne and Richard Eckersley there were plenty of good candidates for this position. The poor man's Wynne, Maxim Usanov (all the defensive comedy, all the attacking instincts, much less of the attacking ability) wasn't quite bad enough, but most of the candidates were simply being played out of position, so it seems right to use this spot for someone who deserves a place but isn't bad enough to get in in his natural position, and that's Adam Braz. Remember that banner of a licence plate reading USL4LIFE? It was displayed to poke fun at the Impact, but it really hits the nail on the head with Braz. He was with Montreal before joining TFC, and proved he wasn't really good enough, before going back to the Impact. A great advertisement for why the initially onerous Canadian content rules ended up being changed.

CB - Marco Velez. Marco? Velez! So magnificent in it's simplicity, it's still my favourite player chant from TFC's first 5 years, but it's not enough to save Velez from being included here. I've tried to shy away from players who tried but just flat out weren't good enough, but Velez doesn't deserve such goodwill. Remember that game back in 2008 when TFC had so many international call-ups that we had to play Rick Titus and scout Tim Regan . Velez was one of the few regular players still in the team and thus was made captain, and managed to repay that faith by getting himself sent off for a retaliatiory elbow to Alecko Eskandarian, leaving the makeshift defence to try and hang on, which they didn't. Thus he gets the CB position his repeated defensive misadventures and blunders deserve.

CB - Nick Garcia. When the fans are rebelling and demanding an improvement after 2½ year of mediocrity, seemingly crowned with another failed Voyageurs Cup bid, who you gonna call? Well, if you're Mo Johnston, Ali Gerba and your old buddy from back in Kansas, Nick Garcia. Back in the day Garcia was a decent MLS defender, but had a salary that reflected that, and no longer had the skills to earn it, and San Jose were presumably happy to be rid of him. In the second half of that 2009 season and early in 2010, he proved repeatedly disastrous, either giving up chances due to being too slow, playing players onside by trying to drop back to protect his lack of pace, or from simply passing it to the opposition. When shunted to Left Back beside the competent Cann/Attakora pairing in Preki's defensive system, he didn't look terrible, but that's hardly an endorsement glowing enough to spare him from making this team is it?

LB - Raivas Hscanovics. Danleigh Borman put in a strong case this year, but when you're losing playing time at your natural position to Nick Garcia, that can't be a good sign, and thus we come to Raivas Hscanovics. Erratic going forward, hopeless at the back, he was let go after his one season with the team in 2010. TFC fans will never be able to fully forget him due to his background presence in the De Ro cheque signing celebration.

M - Joseph Nane. Or was it Nane Joseph? Never could remember exactly, but his was a curious signing, who never ever looked comfortable or likely to do anything good going forward, and didn't really have the defensive bite that saved Amadou Sanyang from a spot in this team. TFC used a 4th round pick in the 2010 SuperDraft to pick him up, and very surprisingly turned that into a 3rd round pick from Colorado in 2012.

M - Laurent Robert. John Carver's Newcastle connection seemed to pay off with the arrival of Laurent Robert, who presumably still possessed more then enough class to tear the league apart. It started off promisingly, even if I'm still not convinced he meant to go under the wall on his one goal for TFC. Soon enough though, it all went wrong, proving himself either no longer good enough to adapt to MLS (or, from his defenders, too good for the class of player around him), or more likely and even worse, he just didn't give a crap.

AM - Mista. Preki had the defence working well in 2010, but clearly there were offensive upgrades required, and so Maicon Santos and Mista were brought in to provide the spark that would undoubtedly push us to glory. It looked good for a game or two, but Santos and Chad Barrett both got injured, and Mista, well he was just hopeless. He did have that one good game against Cruz Azul, but never seemed able to adapt at all to MLS. A peripheral figure at best when he did play, he seemed to just drop out of the starting lineup with mysterious injuries and was waived at the end of the 2010 season, a very strong entrant in the pantheon of MLS DP busts.

LW - Alen Stevanovic. The Laurent Robert of the 2011 season. Arriving on loan from Torino/Inter Milan, he didn't have a lot of experience, but check out that pedigree, surely he'd tear this league apart. Not so much. Never involving his teammates as if he thought himself too good, and always trying to do too much as if determined to build himself an awesome highlights dvd to take back to Europe, he ended up contributing barely anything before slinking off quietly back to Italy after being 'recalled by Torino'.

RW - Johann Smith. Smith's a pretty good example of the stereotype of young players coming out of North America, maybe lacking in skill and football IQ, but check out the athleticism! His raw potential got him a deal with Bolton, which led to trials with lower league teams before finding his way to Toronto. Not as much of a disappointment as Robert or Stevanovic, he was just straight up one of the worst wingers we ever had, worse than Andy Welsh, or Javier Martina, he was fast but in no way threatening, and I still very much remember him dribbling the ball out of touch along the sidelines when under no pressure at all. Even his status as a former Darlington player isn't enough to save him here.

CF - Collin Samuel. The Trinidad and Tobago international had done ok-ish over in Britain, and that was always more than good enough for Mo Johnston. If Ali Gerba didn't eat all of the pies, it's only because Samuel beat him to it, and he was particularly ineffective, playing his way through TFC's big mid season goal drought, before scoring in both of the last two games of the season to run his tally to a slightly more respectable 3 goals in 19 appearances. He actually made it all the way to April of 2008 before being released to clear up an international spot and heading back to Scotland.

They'd line up a little something like this. Sure there might be one or two players out of their natural pposition, but that just makes it more authentically TFC.

football formations


Kenny Stamatopoulos, Probably another unfair goalie choice, but oh well.
Miguel Canizalez, Scored the goal to break the big 2007 goal drought, otherwise could well have made the first team.
Dan Gargan, Providing valuably inept cover at a few different positions. In a good, well organised team, he can look alright, but when surrounded by crap, his flaws get very much exposed. On this team he'd be comically bad.
Kevin Harmse, In case we need someone to go on and get a red card
Pablo Vitti, Ooh, look at the latino flair. No, look at the absolute lack of end product.
Ali Gerba, I was so convinced that this was a great signing, it wasn't.
Carlos Ruiz, El Pescadito. That means 'useless little bugger who won't even try' in spanish right?