clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Ballad of The Dutchman

The Dutchman, majestic in his pose,
Await the fate of his crew.
Of what lady luck is about to deal, 
Or of what we're about to feel. 
(Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
The Dutchman, majestic in his pose, Await the fate of his crew. Of what lady luck is about to deal, Or of what we're about to feel. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
Getty Images

On the eve of the second leg of the Santos Laguna-Toronto CONCACAF Champions League semi-final series, Waking the Red presents...more Homeric poetry! Stick a sock in it, Tennyson; this is REAL poetry!

And now...we present, the Ballad of the Dutchman.


Listen, O children of the story
That wasn't written long ago
Of a Dutchman who sailed the seas
The brave man that before us, we see

He was a brave man that skipper
His breakfast probably wasn't kipper
But in one single season he brought hope
To masses that have a tendency to mope.

For five long years they have cried,
But along the brave captain came,
Some of those demons he did fry,
To FC Dallas did he lead them to shame.

And so to Ted's colosseum he sailed,
Away he left with a draw,
But it was in the City of Angels that he nailed,
The pennant of glory on the mizzenmast.

Alas that pennant was not of gold,
For a prize in the east, the masses did bellow
"The ships of Guardiola are so close, my good fellow;
For an encounter with that fleet, ever so bold.

Now that would be a battle we would like to see,
To ease our suffering, albeit brief?"
And so the captain plot a course anew,
To the sacred lagoon, where the ship Impact had floundered.

It was not news that Montreal's finest,
Had floundered in that sacred lagoon years before.
To survive it would be a miracle,
Just to make it to glory's shore.

But then in a sudden the captain turned,
The raiders from said lagoon was attacking!
He bellowed to his men, "This battle it shall not be spurned!
For golden glory, we must sacrifice it all!"

The ship was worn from many a battle,
The scars showed on the decks made of teak,
But the blood that was stained from battles of yore,
Emboldened the men, and put them in fine fettle.

A left, a right, a whole lot of handbags!
Is what Ray Hudson would say if he was narrating this game.
But alas despite the valiant efforts of the crew,
An indecisive draw was the reward due.

So the good ship, with its skipper at its helm,
The Dutchman, his name we all know him best.
Seeking Guardiola's fleet set sail for that sacred lagoon,
For the weary, there was absolutely no rest.

What will the lagoon produce on this night we now face?
Will fortune smile on the Dutchmen and his crew?
Or will they be smoten by her fists of fate,
We shall find out on this date.

Listen, O children of the story
That wasn't written long ago
Of a Dutchman who sailed the seas
The brave man that before us, we see...