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Toronto FC 4-1 New England Revolution: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

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The Bandwagon is rolling once again.

MLS: New England Revolution at Toronto FC Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

The Good

Taking advantage of the opposition’s weak defence. Finally!... Marky Delgado’s first goal of the season. Better late than never. Now he’s only two behind Tosaint Ricketts... Auro Jr.’s fire. His passion and tenacity are fantastic. He just needs to contain his inner-Hulk long enough to avoid being carded... Michael Bradley had 9% of the possession. Nine!... Seba moved like Jagger all night long. His legs and feet were sprinkled with pixie dust... speaking of magic, Mr. Vazquez (his performance was so good that he deserves to be called “mister”) was spell-binding... Greg Vanney’s coat... Lucas JYHanson had six shots on target. I like the youngster (it’s hard not to at this stage). Just wish that he wasn’t so expensive... can Chris Mavinga win “defender of the year” with only nine appearances to his credit?... D.C. United humbled Montreal, despite the Impact’s 25 shots... TFC winning a match after conceding the first goal. Finally!

MLS: New England Revolution at Toronto FC Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

The Bad

As fun as the second half was to watch, it was only New England. Let’s all put the parade maps back in the desk drawer... I will be strung up for this, but here goes — maybe it’s time to thank Jozy for all the great memories and move on... the repeated reminders that Scott Caldwell and Steven Caldwell are both Caldwells. It was as if Luke Wileman’s five-year-old self was calling the game... New England’s defensive coverage had more holes than a SpongeBob movie plot... another reason to string me up: Mr. Giovinco needs to practice his free kicks... the Red Bulls are coming! The Red Bulls are coming! Straight for our 69-point record. (Yes, I don’t want TFC’s record to fall. Also, did you catch the American Revolutionary War reference in a column featuring the New England Revs? Gawd, I’m brilliant!)... isn’t it hilarious: Scott Caldwell and Steven Caldwell have the same last name?!... TFC had the wrong yellow ribbons. The official “kick cancer” jobbies have those little boots on them... Seba was grumpy for most of the match. Not sure why. Maybe it could be that Seba likes his pitches smooth?

MLS: New England Revolution at Toronto FC Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

The Ugly

That pitch. This is not funny anymore. MLSE better have plans to start stitching the hybrid turf on October 29th, and all CCL home game(s) need to be moved to the Rogers Centre. Otherwise, kiss 2019 goodbye with more stupid injuries and totally avoidable losses... players snotting on the field. There is absolutely no excuse for that level of barbarism. Imagine doing that at your place of work?... New England’s farcical goal. Who, exactly, was Gregory van der Wiel upset with? He, himself, looked like Charlie Brown on the play... Diego Fagundez’s beard. Did he need to milk the cows and churn some butter after the match?... time for the latest VAR rant. Negating Osorio’s goal was beyond stupid. How far back do they go? I’m already calling back Lucas JYHanson’s goal next week against Vancouver because he pushed Tim Parker at Red Bull Arena two weeks ago.