clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

6ix on a Wave: Frustrated Operator — Where do Toronto FC go from here?

New, 55 comments

How are you going to spend the off-season? I hear anywhere-but-here is nice!

MLS: Los Angeles FC at Toronto FC Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Now comes the winter of our discontent.

By all reasonable metrics, 2018 is over for Toronto FC. The same metrics that told the same story almost 20 games ago. Nothing really changed. Nothing really worked.

To say it’s looking bleak is the Rose-Coloured glasses view. Good times.

Listen, I was at BMO Saturday night; It was toxic. Dust hasn’t settled yet, so this is knee-jerk in the extreme, but as of right now, I think the overall vibe at BMO was the worst I’ve experienced. Worse than MLS Cup 2016. Worse than Drogba sending us home with an exclamation point in 2015. Certainly worse than anything in the lean years, it’s hard to be that upset when you know you are garbage.

The added insult to injury was, of course, the throngs of happy go lucky ‘Ex-Men/Women/Children’ buying deep-discount sweeper mops and the incessant ringing bells, chimes, and audible signs of metal fatigue (those %^&ing rides). And the smells, oh, the smells. A not-so-gentle pendulum shift betwixt appetizing BBQ and stomach-churning sulphur. Did I forget to mention that BMO Field was a capable stand-in for the surface of the sun? It was as humid as Satan’s armpit. TLDR: It was hawt.

As for our beleaguered, perpetually down-but-not-out team; I’m not going to trudge out the usual parade of excuses. By this point, everyone here knows them by heart, and like MB4 said last night, “You run out of things to say.”

Instead, I’ve come up with a fun acronym that we can all use in the future;

D.I.S.C.O.:

D - Discipline

I - Injuries

S - Scheduling

C - CONCACAF

O - Overconfidence

So now we have a shorthand to reference TFC 2018. No muss, no fuss.

This is not gospel, by the way. I would LOVE to see what alternate clever-clever stuff you come up with. I really wanted to find a way to jam “V” for “Vanney” in there, but, like our beloved Reds, I was only willing to put in 70%.

Actually, screw it;

D.I.S.C.O.G.R.A.P.H.Y.:

G - Greg Vanney/Gregfather

R - Reality, as in “soul-melting return to - ”, or Radical Supporters Group Shenanigans

A - Atlanta United, or Ager Aketxe (le sigh)

P - Pitch, or Penalty Kicks, or ‘Popcorn Fingers’

H - Hybrid field (can’t come soon enough), or Hope, or the meta-bomb: “Hiking up season tickets by 7%”

Y - Year to Forget, or Yawning, or “You wanted a legacy?”

Still feel like I’m giving 70%, but alas, that’s what you, dear reader/commentator, are here for.

MLS: Los Angeles FC at Toronto FC Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

What happens now? Do we indulge in a little Scorched Earth Policy and burn the whole thing down? Do we batten down the hatches, pull up the bootstraps, and keep the family together for a shot at CONCACAF redemption? Do we all switch over to rabid York 9 fans? Do we give AFL a chance? How about them Blue Jays???

What’s the pulse in WTR land, now that we’ve had a bit of time for our rage-boners to subside? (and I firmly believe that ‘rage-boner’ is in fact a gender neutral term — it’s far too ridiculous to be tied to anything in the real). Are we still holding out hope that miracles happen? Where is an approximate to 34th Street in the 6ix?

I’m a card carrying masochist, so I’m still holding out a slim hope. (By the way, that ‘masochist card’ in my wallet is magnetized, so it kills all my other cards, and it’s paper thin and lined with little spikes so it does some damage when you touch it). Call it being a ‘real’ sports fan, if you like. To me, sitting here on a hazy and humid Sunday afternoon, it feels more like abject stupidity, or worse, near-total insanity.

And yet, I’m not going anywhere. I adore this team, through thick (then) and thin (a most decided now).

Yeah, I know, I checked the word-count. It’s about that time that I round this out with a proper question — thing is, I’m far more interested in what other acronymns or mnemonics you come up with, or suggestions to improve mine.

There’s the good ol’ TFC ironic distance again.

Let’s keep it open this week — it’s time to vent and/or be creative with word-play.

(Special shout-out to Prince Charles/Charles in Charge/COC Music Factory - his turn of phrase - TFC have games left against a number of teams directly above them in the standings, giving them a small modicum of control over their own destiny. That said, it’s control akin to taking a turn in Jenga with the tower about to fall. — LOL/Spit-Take city. Also, Jenga challenge accepted, Pally.)

Who stays? Who goes?

Do we prioritize CONCACAF next year? Or aim for some MLS redemption?

What broke in TFC land? Who, if anyone, is responsible? What steps need to be taken to ensure this season is an outlier for TFC mk3, not the standard?

Did we just witness TFC mk3 sputter and die, in the most anti-climatic way possible?

For the SSH/Members out there:

How do you plan to spend the extra $$ not going to Playoff Tix? (Please don’t say replica 2017 Championship Rings)

I know, we have had ample opportunity in WTR Land to vent already, what with Game Threads, Rate the Reds, and Charlie’s thoughtful Op-Ed, but I think we need this ... I’d sure like to feel better ... or I’m hitting Allan up for some of those convenient travel-size wood blocks to bang my head on ... Are you there, ‘Wondy’? It’s me, ‘Jaff’ ...

MLS: Toronto FC at Portland Timbers Troy Wayrynen-USA TODAY Sports

Ellipses make me happy ... also just realized that by a cruel twist of scheduling fate, you’ll prolly be reading this on Monday, so very sorry to knock your emotional recovery back a few pegs to Sunday ... but hey, long weekend!

Onto the comments laboratory, let’s cook up some magic!

THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST:

It’s come to this — my eardrum destroying, take no prisoners, show no quarter, Noise-Rock/Shoegaze “WTF TFC” Playlist.

Obviously, it’s meant to be played LOUD. On headphones. Go for it, break something. It’s easier to destroy than to create.

Not much more to say on it, aside from:

a) I’m #sorrynotsorry if you don’t fancy waves upon waves of thunderous distortion.

b) I am a huge fan of this style of music, I wish I was sharing some of my faves under better circumstances.

c) I couldn’t resist the ‘fun surprise’ at the end.