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6ix on a Wave: If You Leave Me Now

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How have you handled this breakup?

Italy Training Session And Press Conference Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images

Happy Monday, gang! How was everyone’s weekend? I heard the Super Bowl was... on TV.

In all seriousness, though — I hope everyone spent their weekend as I did: slowly weaning themselves off freebasing the 24/7 #tfclive messtival of tears... well, trying to anyway.

I mean... the hot takes? Delicious. The trolling? LEGENDARY. There’s Revisionist History! Chat-room pitchfork mobs! There are Twitter feuds starting over semantics! There’s Impact fans chirping at us en francais! We have culture wars!

We have a season-ticket return policy, apparently!

The Memes! The Photoshop fake-outs! The “my sources tell me”s!

Of course we’re living for this at WTR HQ, despite the better-than-average chance of catching a serious case of group PTSD. Well aware of the irony that a well-adjusted human being with social skills spending this much time on the Social Medias is about as unsustainable as paying a certain Italian $7.1 million in perpetuity.

For most of us, though, I’d guess the break-up is well and truly over. We’re no longer wearing sweatpants exclusively, and we’re seriously thinking about re-activating our okcupid accounts. We’re swiping right like bandits.

We are patiently waiting for the Front Office to make the promised moves that will either validate our faith in management or give us license to re-lose our collective minds. Maybe we get both? Dare to dream.

With that said, It’s my absolute pleasure to present the worst-timed shameless plug/cross-promotion in WTR history...

Does anyone here want to take a trip back in time, to that wonderful moment just hours before the Atomic Exit? The bleeding edge of that prolonged pregnant pause of “will he or won’t he?” Anyone? Bueller?

Because I can hook you up.

Last week, I was a special guest on The Vocal Minority Podcast, which you should all be well aware of, as a) it’s awesome, b) it’s been around a long time, c) Kristin Knowles used to write for WTR and is the Simpsons Reference Queen, and d) Duncan Fletcher, who I didn’t get to meet, was the founding editor of Waking the Red (which means he’s the one responsible for the name).

It was a blast hanging out with fellow TFC/Soccer die-hards, drinking beer, swearing like sailors and throwing carrots at each other. We laughed. We sighed. We really tried to schedule around the inevitable, but the soccer gods, this time they did not abide.

I was on the TTC home, maybe 15 minutes after we’d spent the better part of 2.1 hours predicting the future, when the worst possible timeline was realized.

So take a listen to this aural time capsule, a moment just before one of the most epochal moments in club history, preserved forever in digital amber. When the dust settles on this off-season that wouldn’t die, who knows? It may be the only such document of its kind.

This week’s question is a fun one, I hope. In the spirit of the Vocal Minority Podcast, episode 262, Where were you when the Atomic Exit happened? Eating dinner? Playing squash? Maybe you were recording a podcast about him?


THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST

...should really come on a CD-R with a carefully-designed jewel case full of stickers and uplifting messages. I have suggested this to Spotify, but I’m not holding my breath.

You know what? Why don’t I offer all of you, the WTR community, a chance to flex those voluntary graphic design/snark muscles and do up a case worthy of the occasion?

Enjoy “I would have stayed for less — Seba Break-Up Mix 2019”!